omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
dude. I can hear the air.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
