I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
