Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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