I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
