I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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