Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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