my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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