I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
