i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
and she was petting her beer can
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
