I need help removing her.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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