you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
