can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
