just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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