so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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