I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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