brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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