Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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