i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
