I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
