i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
