Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
