He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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