Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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