yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I queefed so loud it echoed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
