i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
