Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Pants are for mortals
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
