so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
