remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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