I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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