you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
