She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
