Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
