No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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