Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize