dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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