is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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