The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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