Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
