Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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