I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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