how can u be prego again
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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