Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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