If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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