Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
