My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
