That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
