I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we're making bets on your personal life
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
