Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
