How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
