he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
