areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
